An Alex Rider Love Story
by Fridgeworks
Summary: Alex is back in school, find out what happens! Where is Tom? What's with those armed men entering the school? An unconventional love story. Drama unfolds! PARODY T for language.


Alex walked the halls of Brookland like Moses, the normal crowds bothering him not at all as they parted like the red sea. Most were silent as they stared at him in scared fascination, the few brave in their anonymity whispered jabs as he passed.

Muttered words like "Druggie" and "Stonehead" seared his ears but to all appearances he didn't seem to hear, even one "Go back to your gang, fuckhead" seemed to fall on deaf ears.

They were lucky he ignored them. They were lucky they couldn't see what he was really made of. They were lucky he was too afraid of the repercussions to fight against the accusations levied against him day in and day out when he was able to actually attend school.

Alex used to be able to truly ignore the comments, when he had Tom at his side to allay the hurt and make him laugh away the fears. But Tom wasn't with him that day, that lunch as Alex walked aimlessly until the bell rang for the next class because he had nowhere to sit in peace by himself.

Tom wasn't there.

The truth hit him like a sledgehammer and Alex's steps wavered, his body angled forward slightly in a slow motion trip recovery, but before anyone could register the stammer in his movement he was walking steadily again. As steadily as one could under the weight on his shoulders.

He walked alone.

Alex was saved by the shrill bell and found himself having walked the way to his next class during lunch, so it was just a matter of pushing open the door and sitting down at his desk quietly and as inconspicuously as possible.

The class went by as slowly as any other, even while they were all supposed to be paying attention to the teacher, many eyes were still focused on him. He ignored the burning stares in favor of staring out the window beside him, down at the parking lot.

It was a good thing he was.

That way he was the first to see the sleek black van that rumbled into the lot, stopping before the back entrance. He saw with widening eyes as the doors slid open and men, five he counted, jumped out carrying guns and wearing combat gear.

Without taking his eyes off the men, Alex slowly raised his hand in the air. "May I go to the bathroom, Mr. Haswald?" He asked absently, mind already beginning to go over the school map and strategies. Without waiting for a reply he stood and hurried out, as though his bladder were on the brink of explosion.

On his way out a kid whispered, "On your way to shoot up, Rider?" and stuck a foot out that Alex deftly dodged.

In the empty hall, Alex paused to listen for movement and upon hearing nothing but the drone of teachers from other classrooms, he began running to the stairwell, and vaulted down the steps.

Reaching the ground floor he skid to a halt and opened the hall door slowly, peering in both directions for the armed intruders. _They must have already gotten the secretary, or else the alarms would have been raised_.

He heard footsteps, many of them at a quick pace growing louder and ducked back into the stairwell. Using the window on the door to watch for activity.

Then the explosion went off and they all died.

It was on the news and all the anchormen and women were crying about all the children lost.

And then Yassen Gregorovich was on the scene and scrambling through the rubble desperately like a man possessed until he found the charred body of Alex Rider, that he knew was Alex's because he's a Russian.

Then Yassen kissed what was once the lips of Alex Rider, they crumbled beneath his touch and colored the man's lips black with ash.

But then Alex was revived and his body restored. Because it was the kiss of _love._

But then Ben appeared on the scene with all of K-Unit and they shot Yassen down because he's a criminal and Alex wiped his lips and said "Thanks.".

Because that was paedophilic, and even necrophiliac, what Yassen did.

But then Alex felt a rush of regret and stared down at the now lifeless body of the assassin and leaned over to kiss him.

But he didn't come back alive, because the kiss of _love_ only works once a story.

So Alex moved on with his life and became known as the "Boy-Who-Lived-Because-A-Russian-Assassin-Kissed-Him".

* * *

Hello there!

In apology for my lack of updating anything else I give you: An Alex Rider Love Story! Hahahaha. Gosh this was fun to write.

I enlisted some of the normal Alex Rider fanfiction archetypes and even made up a few new ideas, you guys should take notes, mostly to get my brain back into Alex Rider.

I finished AP testing today and so with the exception of finals next week (I think it's next week, at least) I am home free for the rest of the school year! I won't promise updates galore, though. I'm not that confident in myself. Sorry. :)

Disclaimer: I don't own anything but creative license and even that's an iffy one.

Hope you enjoyed reading as much as I enjoyed writing!

-Fridgeworks

P.S. I think Tom was just in detention, not dead or anything. Just didn't turn in his homework for History or something. Stupid Tom.

P.P.S. I didn't mean that, I love Tom. He's one of my favorite characters from Alex Rider. I'm sorry Tom.


End file.
